I've been caring for my mother with Alzheimer's for years, and I feel completely burned out

Hey everyone, I’ve been feeling really overwhelmed lately. I’ve been caring for my mother with Alzheimer’s for years, and I feel completely burned out. How do I overcome the guilt of needing a break or seeking help? I feel like I’m failing my mother if I’m not constantly by her side.

I totally understand what you’re going through, MJimenez. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed and guilty about taking breaks. It’s similar to what new moms feel like they need to do it all alone or they’ll be failing. One thing that helped me was that I was useless to my mom when I was exhausted and moody. Taking care of myself is essential to be the best support for my mom. By getting some respite and getting help, I became a better caregiver in the long run. Remember, you’re not failing your mother by caring for yourself.

Man do i relate. The guilt can be overwhelming, but it’s important to remind yourself that you’re human too. You deserve rest and support just like your mother needs care.

We came up with “shifts” so that everyone available was involved and we still had some personal time. Taking short breaks was a lifesaver for me when things got tough.

I’ve been there, MJimenez, and it’s tough. The guilt can be all-consuming, and its hard to remember, but your doing the best you can. Seeking help doesn’t mean your failing; it means your taking proactive steps to ensure both you and your mother receive the support you need. Try to find some help from family members or respite care, it can really make a difference. We relied on it all the time when my mother was in the thick of her dementia. It was so helpful.

MJimenez, I completely understand your struggle. For a long time, I felt guilty about needing a break and felt like I was abandoning my mom. What helped me was reframing my perspective. I realized that by taking care of myself and seeking support, I was actually enabling myself to provide better care for my mom in the long run. Remember, you’re not alone in this. There are resources available to help caregivers like us, and reaching out for support is a sign of strength, not weakness.

MJimenez, I empathize with what you’re going through. It’s normal to feel guilty, but it’s important to remember that you have limits too. Providing care for someone with Alzheimer’s is emotionally and physically demanding, and you need to take care of yourself to sustain the role. I found it helpful to talk to a therapist who specializes in caregiving issues. They provided me with coping strategies and helped me work through the guilt. Seeking professional help might be beneficial for you too.

MJimenez, I hear you. The guilt can be overwhelming, but like the others said, you need to take care of yourself. Sometimes even a shower feels like a luxury, but you need to step away every now and then.

One thing I did was setting boundaries and communicating my needs to my family and friends. By explaining my situation honestly and asking for help when I needed it, I created a support network and we all served my mom better than if I would have done it alone. It’s hard, but ask for help from your family.

MJimenez, I’d like to echo what the others have said and remind you that it’s absolutely okay to feel overwhelmed and need a break. Caregiving is a challenging role, and you need to prioritize your own mental and physical wellbeing in order to continue providing the best care for your mom that you can. Seeking support from friends, family, or even a caregiver support group can be a vital resource during this time. Remember, taking care of yourself isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a necessary step in ensuring that you can continue to be the caregiver your mom needs. Stay strong and don’t hesitate to reach out for support.

Hello MJimenez and others here who have shared their experiences. I am new to this forum but dealing with a similar situation. Reading your stories is both comforting and reassuring that I’m not alone in this journey. MJimenez, please remember that in order to take good care of someone else, we need to take care of ourselves first. It’s neither selfish nor guilty to take a break, seek help, and recharge yourself. There are community resources and respite care services that can assist or even professional caregivers who are trained for this kind of situation. You are doing an incredible job and it’s okay to ask for help.