Care Decisions | My mom is in her late 70s and I’m having a hard time balancing her care

My mom is in her late 70s and I’m having a hard time balancing her care. She needs more attention every day, and I’m basically alone in her care. But I’m in a high-demand field and terrified of losing my job. All the appointments, daily activities and attention are a lot. I work remotely, but I can’t just leave whenever she needs to. My kids are almost done with school for the year too, so that’ll be fun… And my husband is no help with the kids as he’s working shifts now. All this to say, I need help. We’ve talked about assisted living (bringing someone home to help her or taking her somewhere she can be tended to) but of course, the second that comes up, everyone’s got an opinion.

I don’t know how to handle all this. Please help.

I went through something similar with my aging mom a few years ago. It’s incredibly tough to juggle everything, especially when it feels like you’re alone in it all. Hang in there!

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It must be really overwhelming for you, and I can see how it would be hard to make the right decision. One thing that helped me when I faced a similar issue was talking to a professional caregiver or a social worker specializing in senior care. They can provide valuable insights and help you make the right call for your family.

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My mom moved in with us, and we had a hard time figuring out how to balance everything. Ultimately, we found a great part-time caregiver to come in and help with her daily needs. It was such a relief having someone we could trust to help out.

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Communicate with your family members and openly express your concerns and frustrations. This way, you can all come to an understanding and perhaps divide the responsibilities. A good support system is very crucial in such situations.

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Don’t be afraid to ask for help from your extended family, friends, or neighbors. In such situations, sometimes people just don’t know what to do, so they don’t offer assistance. But if you reach out and ask, you might find that they are absolutely willing to help in any way they can.

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One option you might want to explore with your family is hiring a live-in caregiver or enrolling your mom in an adult day care program. Both of these options can help ease your burden while still ensuring your mom gets the care she needs. It’s also important to remember to take care of yourself – all caregivers need a break now and then. :heart:

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I agree with the others – communication is key. Make the possibilities clear, and let the entire family participate in the decision-making process. That way everyone is involved and understands the need for the chosen option. Wishing you strength and support through it all!

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As others have mentioned, communication and asking for help are crucial. You can also look for local caregiver support groups, where you can share your experiences, feelings, and frustrations with others who are going through similar experiences. This can provide emotional support and practical advice for your caregiving journey. Stay strong – you’re doing a great job, and remember to take care of yourself, too! :muscle::heart:

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Does your mother have Medicare? If so, after the approval of a Doctor, you can be eligible for caregiver relief…I think up to 25 hours a week. This can take some of the stress off of you. You also need to take care of yourself. There are also adult day care centers in many cities and are usually reasonably priced…your mother can go all day, half a day. There is help available, it’s just doing the research and seeking it out, which can be daunting. Goid Luck to you.

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Thank you all for your thoughtful responses and support. I appreciate your suggestions about finding a professional caregiver or exploring adult day care. Both options seem like they’d provide some relief.

As for extended family, many live farther away and aren’t able to help as often as we need, though they try to when they can. And @BeenThere, I hadn’t looked into whether Medicare could help at all - that’s definitely something I’ll research.

I do worry about my own self-care throughout all this, so even acknowledging the need for that is helpful. I’ll also reach out to some local caregiver support groups, @Daniel, as I think that would help me feel less alone in this.

I’ll try to keep communicating with my family effectively throughout this process. Thanks again for all your caring words. It means a lot.